The Recruitment Widow – How to Recruit a Husband

I might be a nurse married to a recruitment consultant but I’ve a good history of using recruitment skills myself. In fact I recruited my husband Mark using an internet dating site!

A bit of background: I was 31, single and my little sister was getting married in four months time. I didn’t want to be single at her wedding and although I was looking forward to the wedding I wasn’t looking forward to well meaning aunties saying ‘never mind dear it will be your turn one day’.

So I decided I had a vacancy that needed filling and decided to use an internet dating site to fill it.

Stage 1: Fully understand the needs of the vacancy and create a job description.

This was easy, I wanted someone who could make me laugh, liked walking and eating out, about my age, attractive, and free on June 6th (although I thought it might be better if I kept that requirement quiet).

Stage 2: Place an advert

Simple or so I thought, but then it dawned on me that I was selling myself! At least I wasn’t restricted by employment legislation and was able to say I was a woman seeking a man around my age.

Stage 3: Search the Database

Once I’d inputted my search criteria I trawled through page after page in the male section, reading profiles and looking at photographs. I then came up with a shortlist.
It became an obsession, I started turning on my computer before I turned off my burglar alarm. Who had contacted me, was I interested (did they look like a nutter!)? My colleagues at work were equally obsessed and it almost got to the point where I had to give a daily briefing.

Stage 4: Manage CV’s

I was relieved to see that I had a respectable number of approaches. There were a lot from people I wasn’t interested in and they all received a kind rejection letter. I had a rolling shortlist during the ten weeks that I was online.

Stage 5: Interview process

Prior to a first date (interview) I made sure that I spoke to the man on the phone (telephone interview) and again some kind rejections were required!

Stage 6: Face to face interview

Assuming they had potential, the man was invited to attend a face to face interview, otherwise known as a date. Venue and date were mutually agreed but I was always happier if food was involved.
My first date was with an Italian dentist at a restaurant in Manchester. In spite of the fact that his photograph had been extremely misleading the date was progressing well and conversation flowed easily. That was until it became a bit of a comedy sketch when after our starters he took his toothbrush and toothpaste from his pocket and disappeared to clean his teeth. If that wasn’t funny enough he did it again after the main course and again after dessert! I couldn’t help thinking that it was something he should have mentioned in his profile.

Stage 7: Decision making

I had really good fun for 10 weeks and dated 13 different men. I ate out far too much and put on half a stone.

Then I met Mark; he was the last man I dated and had sounded fun in his profile. KDR Recruitment wasn’t mentioned as it was just a nugget of an idea at this point. We had a good chat on the phone and arranged to meet for a drink (with an option for dinner later if it wasn’t a disaster). We did have dinner and he paid on the understanding that I bought it next time. Ever the salesman, he claims this was his way of securing a second date.

Stage 8: Making a job offer

Things went really well with Mark. The vacancy was filled and Mark was my date at my sister’s wedding. Mark proved the ideal date and even the aunties were taken with him.
Fortunately this didn’t scare him off and moving in together, getting married and having two children followed on quite quickly. We’ve even managed to build KDR Recruitment into a successful business now employing a team of 13.

Stage 9: Annual review

I keep him in line though making sure that he meets his regularly changing responsibilities in his evolving job spec!

I’ve just had a thought; who actually recruited who!

Just in case you read my last blog and are curious as to how the chickens are getting on I thought I’d give you an update. Both chickens are continuing to lay an egg each day and we’ve managed to get our 5 year old fussy eater (child, not chicken!) to eat omelette so the supply and demand chain is working well. They are about to go on their first two week holiday to a local farm whilst we go on our family holiday. I’ll keep you posted.

Written by Kara Dexter

KDR Recruitment is the home of the best data, technology and analytics jobs. For more advice follow KDR on LinkedIn.

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